Wednesday, February 01, 2006



I wish I could be your greatest dream in the night
So that when you wake up, you would want me back

I wish I could be the the bed that you sleep in
So everytime you wanted comfort, you would seek me

I wish I could be a guitar you play when you're down
So when you are depressed, you would pick me up to sing your songs

But I know
I cannot be a dream
I cannot be a bed
I cannot be a guitar

I can never be anything I want to be but myself,
and I am unwanted to you, as I am to me.
A very sad poem I wrote a few months back.

I started writing my own journal when I was 7 years old. And I started to write my own poems when I was 15 years old. Til then, I never left the house without a notebook, pen or cellphone with me. Everytime I had the urge to write something or everytime thought would not leave my head, I write them down no matter where I am -- on the bus on my way home, in the CR of some malls, taxi cab, cafes, office, or just anywhere.

I always find solace in writing. The pen has always been my greatest strength. And the my journals -- notebook and blog -- have always been my greatest friend.


I am not expecting your world to move around me,
all I want is one moment of your attention
How many times I have tried to reach you out
but you are not in my reach
I am not asking for too much...
But could you even try to care for me?
Could you even try to comfort me
in the middle of the night?
Could you even try to think of me?
Could you even try to live for me
the way I live for you?
I am not expecting all your time to be spent with me
all I ask is for a moment
because there are a lot of things left unsaid
and I know I cannot say it this time,
I am not asking for too much...
But could you even try to be with me?
Could you try a little bit more
for this thing to work out?
Could you even try to look at me?
Find out what my eyes are telling you..
Could you even try to hold me?
Could you give to me
what I am trying to ask for?
Could you, at least, try to love me?
just try..


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