Unwanted

Unwanted

I wish I could be your greatest dream in the night

So that when you wake up, you would want me back

I wish I could be the the bed that you sleep in

So everytime you wanted comfort, you would seek me

I wish I could be a guitar you play when you're down

So when you are depressed, you would pick me up to sing your songs

But I know

I cannot be a dream

I cannot be a bed

I cannot be a guitar

I can never be anything I want to be but myself,

and I am unwanted to you, as I am to me.

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A very sad poem I wrote a few months back.

I started writing my own journal when I was 7 years old. And I started to write my own poems when I was 15 years old. Til then, I never left the house without a notebook, pen or cellphone with me. Everytime I had the urge to write something or everytime thought would not leave my head, I write them down no matter where I am -- on the bus on my way home, in the CR of some malls, taxi cab, cafes, office, or just anywhere.

I always find solace in writing. The pen has always been my greatest strength. And the my journals -- notebook and blog -- have always been my greatest friend.

-----

I am not expecting your world to move around me,

all I want is one moment of your attention

How many times I have tried to reach you out

but you are not in my reach

I am not asking for too much...

But could you even try to care for me?

Could you even try to comfort me

in the middle of the night?

Could you even try to think of me?

Could you even try to live for me

the way I live for you?

I am not expecting all your time to be spent with me

all I ask is for a moment

because there are a lot of things left unsaid

and I know I cannot say it this time,

I am not asking for too much...

But could you even try to be with me?

Could you try a little bit more

for this thing to work out?

Could you even try to look at me?

Find out what my eyes are telling you..

Could you even try to hold me?

Could you give to me

what I am trying to ask for?

Could you, at least, try to love me?

just try..