Friday, October 19, 2007

He Said, I Said

He Said, I Said

He Said

It started out just fine. I was browsing through an online site when a picture caught my attention. I have to admit, I am picky when it comes to talking to people online, but he really caught interest. After exchanging digits, he admitted, through text, that he is not the person in the picture in his online profile. Weird, but instead of getting mad, I thanked him for being honest. With that, my attention focused on him.

Two days after, we decided to meet up for lunch somewhere around Ortigas. Lunch was okay, we had a great talk. After which, we agreed on watching a movie. From there, it dawned me that something good is about to happen.

After years of not knowing where my love life will lead me, he showed me where it was going. He brought a genuine smile out of my lips. He made me happy more than anything in this world.

We were perfectly fine until he went abroad. I didn’t ask for it but he promised to text me every now and then. Sunday afternoon, he sent me an SMS. He just woke up. This was very unusual since he texted me Saturday night that he was tucking in at 11 PM. And even when he is very tired, he usually gets up early. I kept mum. Later on, he admitted that he went out on Saturday night. Then why did he tell me that he is off to snooze-land at 11 PM?

Another thing: after that, he rarely texted me. I know I said that I didn’t ask for him to text me but one day without a text? Hello. Before going back to the country, he told me that his battery was running low. That was his reason why he was not able to send me messages. I kid him saying that he rarely texts even if his battery was charged. He got mad.

His reaction shocked the hell out of me especially since this was the first time that I have done this. Clearly, the statement is a joke with a pinch of sweetness and sarcasm. But to tell me that I am ruining his trip was out of line. It was way beyond the line.

He said that I was having doubts about his trip and everything. In the first place, it was just a joke. Second of all, if ever I was having doubts, which I have to admit that I was kinda having, don’t I deserve an explanation? Last I checked: he is my boyfriend.

Few days back, I wanted to meet him up for dinner. He said he was in a mall near my place. He told me He was with a friend. I asked him if he wanted to meet up for dinner. His reply? He said that I was on it again and that I was having doubts if he was indeed with a friend. He asked how we can go on if I didn’t trust him. Wait a minute, wanting to have dinner is all about trust? And if I was really having doubts on who he was with, am I not entitled to be jealous? Again, last I checked, he is my boyfriend.

And what saddens me the most, is that amid of all this, he was the once who asked for time and space. He told me that he cannot handle all the stress of our relationship. So what can I do but give in to his request. Right now, I am giving him all the space he wanted and the smile that he gave me the first time we met is slowly fading.


I Said

I have known the narrator above for quite some time now and I think both of us can attest that we know each other so well. For me, he is my only friend who knows when enough is indeed enough. He is one of those who can perfectly define the thin line between right and wrong; too little and too much. That being said, he rarely commits mistake when it comes to crucial decision.

Usually, when a friend seeks me for an advice, I usually speak what they want to hear. But with us, it is different – we do not tolerate. I can tell him straight to his face my uninfluenced and unbiased opinion as he can to me.

After telling me what he narrated above, I told him that he is not at fault. He has every right to ask what he wants to know. Every kind of lover does that. I also believe that all of us deserve an explanation. It is hurt so much to think that we are not even worthy of an explanation.

I have known the guy after the three of us went out for a dinner and movie last week and I really find him very nice. But apparently, the guy did not know the consequence of the time and space he is asking. He just lost one of the two most precious gems in the world – me being the other. As the Janet Jackson once crooned, you don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone. After being drowned with the time and space he is asking, the reality he will face will hit him like a bullet in his brain. And one last thing (sorry I cannot help this), if he does not want the stress of having a relationship, be single forever. And if he does not want to be stressed about life and all its drama, he should curl up inside her mother’s fetus where he is protected from all the world’s anxieties.

And to the narrator above, hey ding, I know it’s hard to end everything that started so well. But as they say, nothing really is forever. Nobody likes endings especially when it comes to relationships but one must know when to hold on and when to let go. Knowing you, I think you perfectly know which one to do. And don’t lose that genuine smile, who knows, you next guy is falling in love with that smile?

PS: I also wrote the He Said part so if there is any lapses of events, I am at fault.


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