Love Sick

Love Sick

What I hate about my birthday is that it is a week after Valentine's Day. The fact that I am single this year makes it more irritating.

Just when I am about to turn a year older, couples remind me that they have something I do not -- a partner.

The last time I went out for Valentine's Day was when there was a bombing in Makati. Looking back, I should have seen it as a sign for me not to push through with the date. Why? A week after, I find myself heartbroken because of the guy.

Since then, I am trying to ban Heart's Day so I can save myself from all the drama. In the past, I spent two birthdays crying over Valentine's Day.

It is not bad being single. I am loving every moment of freedom. But I cannot help feeling incomplete sometimes. No matter how hard I keep telling myself that I am better off alone, there is still an abyss inside of me that needs to be filled.

I miss Mike more than I thought I would. He was the last filler of the void. But I have to do this for myself.

Last year, I spent my Vday working my ass off. This year, I have no stable work. So I do not know if I will survive this. Maybe I will find myself a date. Just maybe. Or Maybe I could hang out with my co-single friends.

But I am half hoping someone will give me chocolates to keep me sane until my natal day.

---

I am getting too emotional these past few days. Would you believe I cried over Lost series when Sun found out that she was pregnant. This afternoon, when Sugarpop of SOP sang Because You Love Me of Celine Dion, I choked up.

There are moment I feel like I am crazy. But a friend of mine told me I am not. Crazy people do not acknowledge that they are indeed crazy. They will always deny the fact. So I will continue to say that I am crazy.

I am crazy. I am crazy. I am crazy.