Thursday, January 18, 2007



Funny how my title sounds like Sick Sick Sick.

More than a month from now, I will be turning a year older. And as my tradition dictates, I go crazy just about this time. And I am getting much worse as the years pass by.

Last year, my pre-birthday depression started exactly a month before my birthday. Now, it started way too early. I can't even find words to perfectly describe what I feel.

Everything just piss me off these past few days. I am becoming a monstrous bitch to everyone, including my special friends. These are the times where I prefer to be alone. Less people around me, less bitching. No people around me, the better. I can hurt no one but myself.

It's January 19, 2007. My birthday is on February 22, 2007. Thirty two days to go until I go back to being my old self. In advance, I wanna say sorry to those I will hurt intentionally and unintentionally. I just can't help myself.

Most Loathed Question

Where is your dad?

It's my cousin’s wedding. In the reception, I realized that I hate this question.

Why? I do not know how to answer the question. How can I? I seriously do not know where he is.

*written on a tissue paper in the rest room of Fernwood Graden last January 6, 2007.*

A Dream of a Drummer

Last Monday night, we went to Inihaw Republic to watch our favorite band, Juan Pablo Dream. It was my first time to watch them perform live this year.

That night, they have a new drummer -- Weslu. Lead Singer Bing introduced us to Weslu and he stayed in our table for quite some time.

On their second set, we find ourselves dancing the night away. For me, it was my first time to dance to Juan Pablo Dream. Weslu was one hell of a drummer.

After their gig, we said our goodbyes. Little did we know that that night will be the last time for Weslu to hold his drumsticks and to give beat to the band.

After they called their night off, the motorcycle he was riding on got hit by a bus. He died yesterday morning.

So I dedicate this space for Weslu. Deaths are always sad and inevitable. And as for Weslu, I really enjoyed your last gig. You are my favorite Juan Pablo Dream drummer. May you rest in peace.


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