Sunday, February 11, 2007

Love Sick

Love Sick
What I hate about my birthday is that it is a week after Valentine's Day. The fact that I am single this year makes it more irritating.
Just when I am about to turn a year older, couples remind me that they have something I do not -- a partner.
The last time I went out for Valentine's Day was when there was a bombing in Makati. Looking back, I should have seen it as a sign for me not to push through with the date. Why? A week after, I find myself heartbroken because of the guy.
Since then, I am trying to ban Heart's Day so I can save myself from all the drama. In the past, I spent two birthdays crying over Valentine's Day.
It is not bad being single. I am loving every moment of freedom. But I cannot help feeling incomplete sometimes. No matter how hard I keep telling myself that I am better off alone, there is still an abyss inside of me that needs to be filled.
I miss Mike more than I thought I would. He was the last filler of the void. But I have to do this for myself.
Last year, I spent my Vday working my ass off. This year, I have no stable work. So I do not know if I will survive this. Maybe I will find myself a date. Just maybe. Or Maybe I could hang out with my co-single friends.
But I am half hoping someone will give me chocolates to keep me sane until my natal day.
I am getting too emotional these past few days. Would you believe I cried over Lost series when Sun found out that she was pregnant. This afternoon, when Sugarpop of SOP sang Because You Love Me of Celine Dion, I choked up.
There are moment I feel like I am crazy. But a friend of mine told me I am not. Crazy people do not acknowledge that they are indeed crazy. They will always deny the fact. So I will continue to say that I am crazy.
I am crazy. I am crazy. I am crazy.


Blogger xio said...

scheecouw, you're a natural at being a good person. that's why you can't really shun that "empty" feeling.

and it's good that you don't deny it.

always choose to be happy. :-)

1:35 AM  

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