Pillow Talk

Pillow Talk

Last night before going to sleep, I proved one thing: pillows can be your friend.

Let's face it, no matter how many times I said that I have tons of friends, at the end of the day, pillows are all I have. Before I call it a day, I can hug my pillow tight without them questioning my emotions. I can talk to them and they are great listeners. Sometimes, no one knows that I cry myself to sleep but me and my pillow.

Sometimes, I feel so alone. No one should feel this way.

A Year of Oink

A Year of Oink

Exactly a month from now, I will be turning 24 years old. Yes, I am not growing any younger. Twenty double O seven is my year in the Chinese Calendar.

I was born in the year of Pig. To be precise, I am a Water Pig. And I am a perfect picture of what and how Water Pigs should be. Well, except for the last line in the next paragraph.

The influence of Water makes the generous, kind Pig infinitely malleable and too rusting for his or her own good. Nevertheless, these elemental Pigs are adept at dealing with people and have a gift for divining what is going on in other people's mind. As a result, although they are easily influenced, they can also be highly persuasive with others. By nature helpful and kind, they like to be of service. A hard worker and often keen and successful in business, this is also a very sociable Animal who loves parties. Yet in fact, the Water Pig is happiest of all in the bosom of the family.

If I was the happiest bosom in my family, I would not want to be in the shoes of my siblings.

The chief characteristics of people born under the sign of the Pig are shown in the panel (above). Always considerate, the Pig is ready to drop whatever he or she may be doing and run to the assistance of anyone in need. Because Pigs are so generous they give willingly of their time and money to help those less fortunate than themselves. Sometimes people take advantage of their exceptionally good natures but they seldom bear a grudge and always give others chance after give others chance after chance to redeem themselves. More than anything, these people like harmony and detest discord and will go to great lengths to overlook or excuse bad manners and crass behavior or to smooth other people's ruffled feathers. However, if put upon too often, even this normally easygoing individual will draw the line and begin to get angry. A Pig in a rage is not a pretty sight!

I am always willing to give a second chance to those who deserve it. And when I am mad, I can be the biggest bitch that you will ever see.

Pig people can be taken advantage of and certainly taken for granted, as they are so trustworthy and entirely dependable. By nature they are more at east giving than receiving and are always happy to share - although this works both ways, and they do not realise that some people are more possessive than they are and have no wish to share back.

Looking back, I give my trust to almost everyone. One reason why sometimes, I feel like I am being taken for granted or being taken advantage of. But I am smart. I know when enough is enough. And I could someone in my life in a blink of an eye. I know the people who are worth keeping for the rest of my life.

More or less, the description of a Pig I found in the site perfectly describes me. Funny how sometimes, these things are true.

Tick...Tick...Tick...

Tick...Tick...Tick...

Funny how my title sounds like Sick Sick Sick.

More than a month from now, I will be turning a year older. And as my tradition dictates, I go crazy just about this time. And I am getting much worse as the years pass by.

Last year, my pre-birthday depression started exactly a month before my birthday. Now, it started way too early. I can't even find words to perfectly describe what I feel.

Everything just piss me off these past few days. I am becoming a monstrous bitch to everyone, including my special friends. These are the times where I prefer to be alone. Less people around me, less bitching. No people around me, the better. I can hurt no one but myself.

It's January 19, 2007. My birthday is on February 22, 2007. Thirty two days to go until I go back to being my old self. In advance, I wanna say sorry to those I will hurt intentionally and unintentionally. I just can't help myself.

Most Loathed Question

Where is your dad?

It's my cousin’s wedding. In the reception, I realized that I hate this question.

Why? I do not know how to answer the question. How can I? I seriously do not know where he is.

*written on a tissue paper in the rest room of Fernwood Graden last January 6, 2007.*

A Dream of a Drummer

Last Monday night, we went to Inihaw Republic to watch our favorite band, Juan Pablo Dream. It was my first time to watch them perform live this year.

That night, they have a new drummer -- Weslu. Lead Singer Bing introduced us to Weslu and he stayed in our table for quite some time.

On their second set, we find ourselves dancing the night away. For me, it was my first time to dance to Juan Pablo Dream. Weslu was one hell of a drummer.

After their gig, we said our goodbyes. Little did we know that that night will be the last time for Weslu to hold his drumsticks and to give beat to the band.

After they called their night off, the motorcycle he was riding on got hit by a bus. He died yesterday morning.

So I dedicate this space for Weslu. Deaths are always sad and inevitable. And as for Weslu, I really enjoyed your last gig. You are my favorite Juan Pablo Dream drummer. May you rest in peace.