Thursday, November 30, 2006

3 AM Conversation

3 AM Conversation in Room 27

Lester and I promised to go back to Manaoag after his board exams. So less than a month after the release of the results (FYI, he passed.), we aboard a Victory Liner bus on our way to Dagupan.
Harli invited us to judge a dance contest with Edmar, so Lester and I grabbed the opportunity to go to Dagupan and pass by Manaoag to thank God for everything that He has blesssed us.
Just to give you a background on what we were supposed to do last Wednesday night, last Monday, after a very dreading night for me, I was depressed. I asked Lester if I could come over his place on Wednesday, bring two bottles of Red Horse and cry.
This Dagupan thing totally changed the plans. But Lester promised me that we will still push through with our drinking session on Wednesday night.
Come Wednesday night, we were eating our dinner at Mcdonald's. I started on telling him things that are bothering me. As crybaby as I am, my eyes started to get wet. So I told him that I should stop and I'll just continue in our room.
So after watching endless shows on ETC channel, he lay down beside me. That's when I started to cry my tears out. While Edmar was asleep on the other bed, I told Lester everything that has been pressuring and frightening me these past few days -- about my family, career, lovelife, my life, my night outs. EVERYTHING. I am becoming someone that I do not want to become. I am starting to feel that my life is going nowhere in terms of everything. In short, I am starting to feel useless.
In the middle of my sobs, he were abeel to give me something that no one could give me: an HONEST OPINION. He is my only friend who could tell me straight to my face that I am wrong. After my long silence while he was watching ETC channel, he asked me one question that touched me the most: Naisip mo na ang sinabi ko? Life is not complicated, ikaw lang naman ang nagpapakumplikado ng buhay mo. Masama ang laging depress, hali.
Of course, coming from a special friend, it hit me home. I have been with Lester almost everyday these past few months. And if we are not in the company of each other, we always text each other on what is happening in our lives. And coming from him, it only confirmed that my depression is literally killing the best part of me.
Before our drama ends, I told him that I am not like this before. I am a care-free teenager. Like what I have said, I am becoming someone that I do not want to become. He also promised that everytime we will be having a night out, he will try to control what I drink or what I pop inside my mouth.
After my tears have dried and his shoulders were wet with my tears, we talked about endless things. Our lovelives, our higgh school experiences, things we wanna share and things that we wanna do. We talked until our eyes fail us.
I am so thankful to have Lester in my life right now. As one of my friend puts it, God gave me Lester as my shock absorber. As I texted him yesterday, he is my most appreciated friend. And as I testified in his Friendster acount, he is more than a friend, more than a lover -- he is a family. A brother that I never but I wished that I had. And thank God that he lives near me. So whenever I experience another crazy night, he is literally a hundred steps away. I could not think what I would do without a friend like Lester, my Hali. If ever you stumble to my blog, I will repeat what I said to you before we sleep last Wednesday, love you bitch. :)